


Between the Steps and the Stars

by helsinkibaby



Series: Another Lifetime [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Community: 1-million-words, F/M, Fluff, Loss, Pre-Relationship, Romance, canon divergences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9988010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: After two weeks, this new Earth is still making Caitlin's head spin. But the stars still stay the same.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For one million words February Bingo prompt stargazing. 
> 
> Credit where credit is due - the Joe/Caitlin relationship backstory written here is inspired wholly and completely by s tumblr post Sheneya has [here which is a whole delicious AU that I will one day write in great detail (Het Big Bang anyone?) but which is used here also.](http://sheneya.tumblr.com/post/144474181353/joe-west-au-prompt)

It was supposed to be something relaxing, something fun, something she'd done dozens of times back on her Earth, a West family tradition that she'd enjoyed taking part in. Movie night in Hofherr Park, popcorn and starlight and Joe's arm around her shoulders, fingers tracing gentle patterns against her skin, insistent enough to make her smile, subtle enough to not completely freak out his kids. 

Except that what was supposed to be fun brought back all kinds of memories to the fore, all kinds of reminders that even though these people looked like the people she'd known, they weren't. 

And that was before the movie started and her head had started to spin. _Back to the Future_ was one of her favourite movies, Barry had made them watch it one rainy night years ago and she'd loved it ever since. But where, she wanted to know, was Eric Stoltz, and who the hell cast Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly? 

By the end of the movie, she had a dull pounding in the back of her head and when Cisco suggested they all go out for a drink, when everyone else agreed and looked at her with a smile, she held up her hands. "I'm pretty tired," she said and she tried not to notice how Cisco's face fell. "Next time, I promise." 

"If you're sure." Iris's voice conveyed worry and she glanced up at Barry. Caitlin saw her hand tighten in his and she knew what was coming next. "Look, why don't you guys have a boys' night, Caitlin and I will head home..."

Barry looked dismayed at that and Caitlin bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile at how utterly transparent - not to mention completely besotted - he was. "No, Iris, go," she said. "You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine." 

"But we came together..." 

Iris's objection was cut short when Joe jingled his car keys. "And what I am, chopped liver?" he asked. "Last time I checked, I was going to the same place Caitlin was." 

Still looking doubtful, if slightly relieved, Iris met Caitlin's gaze. "You're sure?"

Caitlin nodded and hoped Iris didn't see that she felt decidedly less sure than she'd felt a few seconds ago. "Settled." Joe leaned in, kissed his daughter on the cheek. "I'll see you later." He pointed at her as he took a step back. "No drinking and driving, you call me if you need picking up." 

Iris rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad," and then she and the rest of the gang walked away, from their chatter trying to decide what bar they should head to. 

Which left Caitlin and Joe alone together for the first time since she'd come here. 

Swallowing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself, made herself look up at him and smile. "Thanks for this," she said and he gave her a look. 

"You're staying in my house, what, I'm gonna let you walk home?" He motioned over his shoulder. "My car's over this way." She fell into step beside him, didn't miss how he was glancing over at her out of the corner of his eye. He didn't ask her any questions though, just brought her to his car, drove back to his house and she thanked her lucky stars that it was a relatively short trip because being so close to him in an enclosed space was not something that she enjoyed. 

Not when it brought back so many memories of other nights like this, and the way that they had ended. 

When they got to the West house, she stopped on the porch and he turned to look at her, key half turned in the lock. "Caitlin?"

Her name on his lips made her shiver. "Do you mind... I think I'm just going to sit out here for a minute. Get some fresh air." It was a weak excuse, after all she'd been out of doors all night, but he didn't call her on it, just nodded. 

She waited until the door closed behind him to sink down on the porch steps, close her eyes for a moment before opening them and looking up at the stars. They, at least, were the same constellations that she'd looked at her whole life and she concentrated on breathing in and out slowly as she let her eyes wander, recalling the legends that her dad had regaled her with as a little girl. 

She was so lost in thought that she startled a little when a warm blanket landed around her shoulders, looked up to see Joe standing behind her. She hadn't even heard the front door open, hadn't realised how cold she was and she smiled up at him thankfully as she pulled the blanket tighter around herself. He didn't say anything, not then, just nodded once and went back inside. For a moment, she felt strangely bereft but then she realised he'd left the door open. Just as she realised that, she heard his footsteps coming back and when he stepped outside, pulling the door shut behind him by hooking his foot around it, he had two tumblers of scotch in his hands. 

"Nightcap?" he asked, holding one out to her. 

She accepted, her smile coming easier now, scooted over on the step to make room for him. He lifted one eyebrow as if considering it but seconds later he was sitting there beside her, looking out across the lawn and down the street, like he was looking out for his kids arriving home. She didn't speak either, just took a sip of her scotch and closed her eyes as it slipped down her throat. She knew this brand, they'd had it on her Earth too and she didn't know how many times she'd sat beside her Joe on a set of steps just like this one, glasses in hand as they stared up at the stars, laughing and talking and, occasionally, not talking. 

Her head spun and her throat ached at the memory. 

"You ok?" Joe's voice, concerned but trying not to show it, broke the silence and she opened her eyes to look over at him. "You've just been quiet since the movie... when you didn't come inside, I wondered..." He let his voice trail off as he shrugged, giving her a chance to fill in the blanks and she took another sip of her drink as she decided what to say. 

Deciding that the truth - or at least a partial truth - was the way to go, she told him, "I just needed a few minutes... that movie... on my Earth, it's a classic too. Same script. But Marty is played by an actor called Eric Stoltz." His two eyebrows shot up in surprise and she nodded. "It was so weird... same lines, same sets, all the other actors look the exact same... except for him." 

Joe tilted his head. "Isn't that pretty much your life now?" he asked and the honesty surprised a laugh out of her. 

"True." She raised her glass in acknowledgment. "So when we got back here... When I saw the stars... I just wanted a few minutes where I could pretend everything was exactly the same." She looked down, a sudden shiver wracking her body, and she busied herself with rearranging the blanket. 

"They're still the same then? The stars?" She glanced up at him quickly, saw he wasn't looking at her, his eyes fixed on the constellations overhead. 

"Yeah... my dad, he used to take me out when I was little, tell me the names of all the constellations, all the legends... when I close my eyes, I can still hear his voice." 

There was a creak of wood as Joe shifted. "You want me to go in?" He hooked a thumb over his shoulder as he spoke and while it may have been a surprise to him how quickly she said no, it wasn't to her. 

"It's ok," she said after the initial loud answer. "I..." She tightened her grip on her drink as the words slipped past her lips, powerless to stop them. "I like you being here." Joe blinked once, then he looked at her with an expression on his face that she was all too familiar with. One part curiosity, two parts dawning realisation, she spoke hurriedly, hoping she could steer his train of thought on to a different set of tracks. "Besides, it's not like we'll have too many nights like this... I mean, I should probably start looking for a place of my own." She couldn't say the idea filled her with too much enthusiasm - these last couple of weeks, finding her feet in a strange new world, the warmth and relative familiarity of the West household had been one of the things that had all but saved her sanity. 

"You know you can stay here as long as you want to." He was obviously sincere and Caitlin nodded, biting her lip against the words that threatened to spill out, that if she stayed as long as she wanted to, she'd never leave. He tilted his head as something occurred to him. "What are you going to do for money?"

Caitlin smiled because of all the things that needed to be worked out, that had been one of the easiest. "STAR Labs," she said simply and his lips formed a small "Ah." "I'm still a doctor," she continued, "and they definitely need one of those." 

It was Joe's turn to raise his glass. "I'll drink to that." 

"They managed to get in touch with the other Caitlin." Cisco had worked some kind of magic to get through to the time ship - and no, Caitlin decided, that was never not going to be weird, well, no weirder than seeing your doppelgänger on a vid screen, actually having a conversation with them. "She and Ronnie have no plans to come back here, not yet anyway, so she's fine with me taking over her life. Felicity's going to hack anything she can to make it look like I've always been here..." 

She stopped talking when he chuckled, deep and low and God, she'd missed that sound. Hearing it again was even better than her dreams, better than her wildest fantasies. "That doesn't sound legal at all," he observed, still chuckling. "I'll pretend I never heard that." 

Caitlin was so lost in memory that it took her a second to work out what he meant. "I keep forgetting you're still a cop here," she said and when his head snapped around and his eyes narrowed, she wanted to bite off her tongue. It was the scotch, she thought, definitely the scotch that was making her so loose lipped. She probably shouldn't have any more. 

She took a long swallow. 

"I wasn't over there?" He was definitely curious now and if she knew anything about the look on his face, he wasn't going to let go of this. 

So, with a deep breath, she told him. 

"Cisco and Barry... They told me you had an EoWells here too." He frowned, obviously not understanding. "Eobard Thawne, posing as Harrison Wells." 

Joe's face screwed up in distaste and he knocked back a large gulp of his drink. "You gave him a nickname?" Then as suddenly as it happened, his face cleared. "Cisco." 

Already having gleaned that some things were the same in any universe, Caitlin nodded. For just a moment, a memory of her Cisco floated before her eyes, one night in the break room of STAR Labs where they were both punchy from too much caffeine and too little sleep. Joe had arrived with a care package, one of her favourites of Grandma Esther's recipes, enough for two, but she'd insisted they share it with Cisco too. Oh, he'd tried to get out of it, telling them he didn't want to be the third wheel, but that had lasted as long as it had taken for the aroma of the food to hit him and that was the end of that idea. The three of them had shared the meal, laughing and talking all the while and by the time their plates were empty, Joe and Cisco were getting along so well that it was Caitlin who was feeling like the third wheel. 

"Yeah," she whispered softly. "Cisco." Her fingers tightened on the glass and with some difficulty, she pushed the memory away. "Anyway, EoWells... our EoWells... Unlike yours, he wasn't content with just observing Barry. He insinuated himself into your lives. When Barry was a freshman in high school, STAR Labs sponsored a city wide science competition. Barry entered and he won... EoWells presented him with the prize in a big ceremony, told everyone he was destined for greatness. It was all over the paper because the kid whose dad murdered his mom was doing so well... and a couple of weeks later, EoWells came to you. Told you he knew it couldn't be easy to raise two kids on a cop's salary, and the hours and the danger..." She chanced a glance at Joe, saw his furrowed brow, his eyes dark and suspicious and she shivered. "He offered you the position of head of security at STAR Labs. Practically doubled the pay, nine to five hours, generous benefits..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered that this man in front of her wasn't the same Joe but he was nodding. 

"I would have taken it in a second." 

There's a moment of silence then, a long moment where they're staring at each other and when she makes herself look away, it's almost a physical ache as she reminds herself that this isn't her Joe. "EoWells took an interest in Barry... which Joe was suspicious about. He told himself that it was just him being overprotective, being overly suspicious... and EoWells was so charming, always had an answer for everything..."

"Ours too." Joe's teeth were clenched as he forced the words out and a shiver that had nothing to do with temperature ran down Caitlin's spine. She'd never seen her Joe like this, at least not because of EoWells. 

"Anyway," she said, raising the glass to her lips again because for this, she would need all the courage, liquid or otherwise, that she could get, "that's how we met. My first day in STAR Labs, getting my credentials, signing enough non-disclosure agreements to wallpaper my apartment." She'd been so excited about working for the great Harrison Wells, full of enthusiasm for the changes she was sure they were going to make in the world, but she'd been nervous too and all the hoops she had to jump through with paperwork hadn't made it any easier. Joe's calm demeanour, though, and his easy smile - that had made all the difference. 

And maybe there was something in her voice, if not in what she said then in how she said it, that made him stare at her, made him swallow hard. "And he told you all that? Your Joe? About Wells and Barry and how he felt about it?" His dark eyes were locked with hers and she didn't break that eye contact as she nodded. "Caitlin... how well did you two know each other?" 

Caitlin drew in a shaky breath as tears gathered behind her eyes. She had to look away then, had to look up at the stars, blurry now, before she could even think about speaking. Putting down her drink, her hand reached up to her chest, touched the necklace she wore there, the tiny silver snowflake that she never took off. Her fingers tightened around it as she remembered the way he'd looked when he'd fastened it around her neck and her throat ached with missing him. 

He'd always told her she had a pretty bad poker face and from the quiet intake of breath she heard beside her, she didn't think she needed to speak to explain herself. 

She did anyway. 

"We were together for three years," she whispered. "We told each other everything... no secrets. And we were so happy..." She swatted at her eyes impatiently, brushing the tears away. "Until the particle accelerator exploded." 

There was a terrible silence where she tried to block it out, but the memories of that night came thick and fast and she knew that she'd be seeing it all over again in her dreams, if and when she fell asleep. "You mean..." Joe's voice came from very far away. 

"He was a hero," she said. "Trying to get as many people out as possible." When she looked at him, he looked stricken, reached over and laid a hand on her shoulder. The touch, strange and familiar all at once, made another tear roll down her cheek. "He saved so many lives..." She covered her lips with her free hand, breathing deeply. "It's been nearly three years... And I still don't know whether I'm really proud of him, or just really really mad at him because I miss him so much." 

Joe's fingers tightened on her shoulder and she gave into the impulse she'd been fighting for two weeks now, let herself fall against him, trusting him to catch her. He did, his arm sliding around her shoulders as his chin rested against the top of her head and his sigh ruffled her hair. 

"I'm sorry," she heard him whisper and she sniffed as she wiped her eyes. He didn't loosen his grip on her shoulder though and she didn't make any moves to sit up straight either. Oh, she knew this wasn't her Joe, was a completely different man, but sitting here like this, with the steps and the stars and the scotch, it was easy to pretend it was years ago, that they were just an ordinary couple at the end of an ordinary day. 

"Can we just stay here for a while?" she asked, looking at the stars twinkling brightly, trying not to notice the warmth and strength of his touch, the smell of his cologne, the beat of his heart, failing utterly on all counts. 

But he didn't know that, and if he suspected, he didn't show it. Instead, he squeezed her shoulder. "Yeah," he said. "We can do that."


End file.
